A page from Friend’s diary

I never know what I want in my life. I can’t decide whether it’s about studies or life. I am a confused personality. People often say that family affects a person’s personality. I think that’s why I’m confused like my father. he is not strong nor he remains firm with his decisions. He also lies sometimes. I don’t understand why he never says to us directly about something he can’t afford instead he lies. I’m like him I want to stay firm with my decisions but people always disrupt me, they confuse me, they never let me decide what I want. I wanted to become a doctor ok I didn’t get enough marks for the admission but then I was like a null person who couldn’t decide what to do next. I totally regret that time. I think I need consultation therapy but who understands these things. They think I’m getting emotional and that’s it. I am like a child who can’t decide whether he wants purple color or pink and he can’t take both colors. now I’m stuck again whether I should opt for finance or HR. I know I’ll make the wrong decisions again and again and again. My life is a mess and I am making my life more mess. The same case is with the understanding of men. They are all bad. I mean literally all. My father plays a role in this too. marriage is not all about love and understanding. It's about RESPECT.my father loves my mother. I don’t know whether he understands her or not but he never respects her which is most important for me in life. He won't understand the word “respect” in fact every man in our society is like him. Maybe there are good people too but I’m afraid too afraid. I’m afraid of marriage, I’m afraid of men, I’m afraid of children in fact I’m afraid of the word “marriage”.

(Note: I posted with her consent. This one of the perspectives of someone’s life.)